• Joey Turner

Are We Supposed to Cry?


Men are not supposed to cry. I am guessing you may have heard that line before, right? I have heard it from some folks and it is a statement that is totally false. Most of those in the older generation believe one should always work hard, nothing wrong with that. But they also believe one should never show their emotions. This belief is wrong. Real men do cry when life really hurts. How do I know? I have cried.

Men are known to be less emotional; they are supposed to be the bastions of stability, you know, like Dwayne Johnson, The Rock. But for those who think men are weak if they cry, I have some news for you. Men have always cried.

In Psalm 28, David begins by saying, “Unto thee will I cry, O Lord my rock”. David was crying out to God. Crying is a natural expression of sorrow and frustration. We cry when we are in desperate straits, and David’s life was very desperate. There were a lot of things happening in David’s life and he was at his breaking point. Ever been there? Ever been in a desperate strait and all you could do was cry?

I remember what it was like to hear the words, “I am so sorry, but your daughter is dead.” That was a desperate strait for me. I remember looking at Amy and seeing the hurt in her eyes and I hurt deeply for her. I remember holding Caroline and knowing that I would never see her experience life.

I cried when it was time to go to the graveside. No parent should ever have to bury their child; however, I know it happens. It happened to Amy and myself. When we experience a very deep hurt in our lives, I am here to say that it is not weakness to cry out. David was crying out because he felt as if God was being silent.

Every one of us have dreams and goals, no matter what type of background we come from. Maybe you are like David, and it seems your life has become unstable and you are discouraged. You ask, seek, and knock but God seems to be quiet. You hear whispering in your ear from the enemy as he says you are going to lose everything and live without hope. You are trying to hang on.

I know you are sitting there right now saying, “Why did I ever start reading this blog?” There is a reason, so bear with me. The reason why people do not see God’s promises come to pass is because they get discouraged and quit. David could have quit when he felt like God was being silent, but he cried out louder.

Just because I cannot see God working does not mean He will not fulfill His promises. I have asked God many times why my daughter had to die. Yes, I still have questions, but I am learning as I share my story it encourages others that have traveled this difficult journey.

Is it silent in your life right now? In Habakkuk 1:2, the prophet asked, “How long, O Lord, must I call for help? But you do not listen! “Violence is everywhere!” I cry, but you do not come to save.” Have you ever voiced your disappointment when you felt as if heaven was being silent? If you have, you are not alone.

Yes, some of you may be in the silent days. You are not hearing the voice of God. Believe me, I understand what that time is like. But I want you to keep reading Psalm 28.

There was some time that passed between Psalm 28:1 and Psalm 28: 6-7, when David said, “Praise the Lord! For he has heard my cry for mercy. The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.”

When you feel as though God’s promises are taking a long time, don’t give up, never lose faith. Whether you feel like it or not, God is always with you. God smiles when you have faith, but the devil sneers when you show your fear. Know just because you are not hearing from God right now does not mean that something is wrong with you. Know that in the silent times, God is still at work.

It may be dark right now in your life but hang on. Remember the story of Lazarus in Scripture? Lazarus was sick, he died, they buried him, dark days came across his family. Jesus was nowhere to be found, but He knew what was happening back home because He is God. I know and have experienced what the silence is like during this time.

You probably have heard the story. Jesus came home after four days and he wept with his family. Jesus walked to the grave and brought Lazarus back to life. The glory of the Lord was revealed in the silence.

The story did not happen like the family expected. My story with Caroline did not happen like I expected, but Christ is going to get the glory from mine and Amy’s story. The miracle at the graveside did not happen as Lazarus’ family desired. Just like our breakthrough may not happen on our time table as well. We have a promise in Hebrews 13:5-6 which says, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.” So we can say with confidence,The Lord is my helper, so I will have no fear. What can mere people do to me?

Today, let that sink in. God is really saying, “Hey, I’m not going to fail you, I will not let you down.”

So men and women, is it okay to cry? Yes! It is okay to cry, but it is not okay to quit. Hang on until your miracle comes. Don’t listen to the lies of the enemy. He wants you to quit, but God wants you to keep trusting. I am a crier and I am not ashamed to say that I am. When I am hurting and when I feel alone I will cry out to my Savior. He listens, and I am so glad He answers in His timing. His way is always best.


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